When I left my college course at the beginning of October, I can’t deny that no longer having the demands of coursework on my shoulders was a very inviting prospect. It meant I could have a clear and contented head to think about my next step. Thankfully, that step is in place and I look forward to it, but in the meantime I’m finding that I have virtually nothing else to do. I’m told that this is normal for some jobhunters. I wonder if the boredom is as crushing for them as it has been for me!
I’ve wondered to myself recently how some people can live quite happily without ever working in their entire lives. I’ll openly admit that I can be lazy with the best of them, but even I’m struggling at the moment with nothing to keep me busy and it’s only been a month. What’s worse is that the longer I spend doing nothing, the more I lose the energy that encourages me to do anything at all. I love writing – I keep up this blog, and I work on poems and a screenplay – and playing keyboard, but if I lounge on the sofa for too long, I won’t be able to get off to go and do them. If there’s been anything negative on my mind, I’ll overthink it and that risks affecting my mood. That can’t be good for anyone. For me, it can give “downtime” a whole new meaning – hence the choice of title. I haven’t felt much like going outside because if I did, I wouldn’t know where to go, and I’d have nobody to go there with.
It’s because of these things that I’m really glad I have a job lined up. It’ll bring me back in contact with others, and it’ll give me responsibility I know I’m very capable of holding. It’ll enrich me and give me new skills, or better ones. So I look forward to hearing from them soon – I’ll be waiting eagerly by the phone!