Whenever I look at a finished post, two thoughts go through my mind. Firstly, I’m pleased that I’ve been able to ramble on and then publish what I’ve written with no editing, and secondly I experience disappointment at having written so badly. I’ve actually had a fair few compliments about this blog, and I often ask people to have a look so that I’ll know whether it’s worth carrying on. Of course, I appreciate all the kind words because they are encouraging, but for me personally there’s something missing from my posts.
In my opinion, there’s too much order, and not enough personality, not enough to show people that I actually do have a very good sense of humour. I blame English teachers! I want what I write to be more “indie”, to be less conventional and more quirky. In popular culture I’ve always admired what isn’t afraid to go against the norm – I have a much-loved DVD box set of surreal sitcom The Young Ones, which is unfortunately only really appreciated by me. When Dad watched it again after 30 years away he said he thought it wasn’t as funny as he remembered. I don’t know if he or Mum really understand the benefits of experimenting with things; when they saw an Absurdist Drama performance in sixth form once they thought it was nothing but a weird racket. I remember feeling a little put down by this, because from the moment we started studying Surrealism in Drama I thought it was the best thing ever. Why should anything – or anyone – make sense? If I have the power to confuse my audience, that’s exactly what I’ll do, and there’ll be many more possibilities in the process. Brilliant! Since realising that, not much of what I’ve written in private has made sense at all, and I’ve made a point of not listening to anybody who’s tried belittling it. It’s the same with music. I recently downloaded a greatest hits album by The Smiths, one of my favourite bands. There are so many contrasts – Morrissey’s soulful vocals against Johnny Marr’s pop-like riffs, both accompanied by more downbeat lyrics. Their songs are so enjoyable and so fascinating, and they are the latest things to encourage me be creative in whatever way I like, whether other people like it or not. From the next post onwards, then, I’m making a pledge to be wilder, more imaginative, and maybe unpredictable when you least expect it. Cupcake.