When I started this blog, I was worried that I’d have to write something compelling every day, without fail. It didn’t initially occur to me that I could just leave it until I decided I had something worth saying, but thankfully that is what I have since done. What’s more, I’ve been able to recognise that even the tiniest spark of an idea is worth hanging on to, because anything is capable of flourishing into something great. This can be the case regardless of whether said idea is a creative pursuit, or something that applies specifically to your life.
Where the latter is concerned, the idea could just be a word, an expression, or a thought. As I have recently found, these things have been the seeds that have grown and allowed me to tell someone close to me just how much I care about them. Using only a miniscule snippet of information, I was able to pour my heart out, and I think that’s amazing. I expressed my appreciation for my friend Will in a previous post and I’ve now learned that the more people I can enlighten, the more I am lifted afterwards – not that I ever do these things for my own gain. I feel, quite simply, like I shouldn’t have to be nervous ever again. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always work out that way. At the moment I feel a degree of pressure, although I will admit that I bear this with pride.
I have another friend who, like Will, has helped and supported me through thick and thin. An important period in their own life is forthcoming, and it begins with a journey to fix a relationship. It isn’t my place to go into detail, but if this were to end badly, it would break their heart, and that would upset me considerably too. No matter how hard I try, I don’t think anything I could say would illustrate how much I want this to work out for them, because it’s the very least they deserve. And that’s where the pressure comes from. I can’t speak to them in person at this time, so I have to communicate over Facebook or text, and when I do this I want them to feel fully cared for and supported, as I hope they always do. The only problem is that even if you’re always telling someone you care, the sheer emotion won’t show through. I feel a lot of emotion in this case, too – I want my friend to be happy, content and carefree more than anything. All I can do, it seems, is clutch on to the care I feel, and tell them I’m always there as much as possible, so that they’ll be kept smiling – and safe. Thoughts and feelings, no matter how small, can go a long way if you just have faith in them.